Tomorrow is contract day and I'm not really looking forward to it. I think both hubby and I are expecting it be shitty and people to be too chicken to stand up and say hell no you guys better get back to the table and negotiate something better.
I really, really hope there is room for a good surprise but I don't expect it.
I am starting to wonder just how much weight I've lost during those whole ordeal. I sat down on a chair and ended up having to raise my butt because I was actually sitting on my t-shirt. I can not remember that to ever happen before.
Things that makes you go hmmm, but I'm enjoying it for all it's worth right now.
The weekend turned out to be excellent and quiet, which was something both of us needed :)
Hoping this weekend will be quiet and as normal as anything can be around here. Really need not having to worry and concentrate about outside issues. Hubby and I need time to just be and be us for a while.
Despite waking up wicked early and halfway expecting to have my mind racing like a cat 5 because of it (didn't happen though), it has been a mostly quiet day. For the last couple of weeks it seems to have been the rule rather than the exception for that to happen in those early morning hours when I haven't gotten enough sleep.
I know the potential for that to happen is still there, but somewhere I am also hopeful that not having it happen today is a turning point for me.
Another personal turning point has been music. Normally when I'm having a lot of stress going on (whether internal or external) I cannot stand to listen to much (if any) music at all. I tend to listen for the emotional impact of music and sometimes that hits quite deeply. When that happens I have to stop listening for a while to lessen the impact from music versus impact of internal or external stress. Just too much to handle at the same time.
As for the whole family mess, I am hopeful but guarded about the situation. Last week was fairly quiet and then the walls came crashing down over the weekend, so needless to say I'm a bit guarded about the developments since then.
I have been told that I am a strong person in all of this, but that is not what I have felt like for the last 3 weeks. I have had some really bad days where it felt like I was totally losing control of everything. Not a feeling I like at all. Specially not when looking at how hard all of this has been on hubby and trying to give him some stability to deal with his personal emotional fallout from all of this.
Breathing easier but still taking it one day at a time.
Got to spend a couple of hours on IM with hubby yesterday. He is indeed coming home today and boy do I look forward to that :)
Got a lot of reassurances which has put my mind at ease (but still guarded) about a lot of issues in all this mess. Now we all needs to begin moving forward.
Finally got a bit of news about what is going on. It actually sounds like things are "calm" and people might actually be able to talk rationally with each other. I really don't like the thought of being hopeful right now, because I know the situation is so very fragile and can turn at moments notice.
Still don't know if he's coming home tomorrow or not :|
I am going stir crazy not knowing what is going on down there. I most likely won't hear anything until hubby gets back home. That is supposed to happen tomorrow, but could be extended for a few more days.
Right now I am half way expecting to be kept mostly in the dark and I bleeping hate it. My mind is racing 17,000 miles per hour with all kinds of thoughts which doesn't make any sense at all.
I really, really, really, really hate this.
Someone please tell me something.
As the title says, another weekend has been lost to the bleeping mess of dealing with my bastard jackass brother in law. Hubby had to make yet another road trip like he did 3 weeks ago.
I know hubby had to do what he did, but I'm getting beyond tired of dealing with this shit and having my own life put on hold because of the bastard jackass brother in law.
No wonder it is cold. Apparently I forgot to turn the furnace back on yesterday after I had the windows open for a while. It's going to take a while to get warm in here, because we've also got a wind advisory going on and it always takes longer when that happens.
