http://www.serialpurrs.org/ Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. en Copyright 2008 Sun, 29 Jun 2008 08:51:13 -0600 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification
I am so bleeping scared. Scared of having to try and hold dark thoughts in check when it's all that is flowing through my mind when I am awake. Scared that I am feeling such a calmness about that certain option.

Scared because that option doesn't scare me the same way everything else scares me. ]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/scared.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/scared.html Daily Musings heartbroken hell pain personal Sun, 29 Jun 2008 08:51:13 -0600 Right now the thought about permanent sleep sounds tempting. http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/sleep.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/sleep.html Daily Musings heartbroken pain personal Thu, 26 Jun 2008 09:19:08 -0600
Changes so big that I am having a very, very hard time dealing with and accepting them. Changes which I probably should be documenting blog style, but it's personal, it's painful, it's heartbreaking and it's very  very scary being me right now. ]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/changes.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/changes.html Daily Musings heartbroken hell pain personal Sat, 21 Jun 2008 09:42:04 -0600 I can't talk about it right now, but this is the end of the line :( http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/end-of-the-line.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/end-of-the-line.html Daily Musings heartbroken Wed, 18 Jun 2008 12:25:29 -0600
That is big. Really big. A local news paper is the best resource for area images and latest news.

Right now I'm so very, very happy that hubby and I decided to stay in Marion when we were looking at houses. I don't think I could have dealt with having to sandbag and a potential evacuation at the same time.
]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/on-dry-land.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/on-dry-land.html Daily Musings flooding historic weather Wed, 11 Jun 2008 19:04:40 -0600
I just dumped a load of coffee grounds which I could have used to do the aging on some card stock and paper I wanted to work with tonight. Now I have to wait until tomorrow instead. Probably better though, but damnit I wanted to do the aging tonight so it could dry overnight and I could work on my project tomorrow in between doing laundry and other fun housework type stuff.
]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/plan-ahead.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/plan-ahead.html Daily Musings crafting creative Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:19:51 -0600 I have no clue what is going to happen today. http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/happy-birthday-to-me.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/happy-birthday-to-me.html Daily Musings personal Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:27:08 -0600
But that was not what made the night interesting. It was one set of neighbors across the street and hubby was thisclose to call the cops on them too. A lot of yelling and screaming, someone backing out of the driveway and hitting another car (belonging to that house) setting off the car alarm and more yelling and screaming. ]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/interesting-night.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/interesting-night.html Daily Musings neighbors weather Fri, 06 Jun 2008 07:59:32 -0600 I used to think that I didn't mind the bad mid-west type of weather, but I am not so sure anymore. Lately I've noticed that I have a lot more anxiety type reactions to the prospect of bad weather moving through. http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/how-do-you-cope.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/06/how-do-you-cope.html Daily Musings weather Thu, 05 Jun 2008 23:18:11 -0600
Movable Type 4.2 is close to being complete and I'm playing with it in an off line install. The beta has been going on for a while, but I haven't had the energy to do anything about that until yesterday when I finally bit the bullet, downloaded and installed. I don't see much of a difference speed wise, but that might actually change once I get it installed online and go live with it.

And it getting close to the time when I usually get the itch to start (mostly) over with the install, so expect the unexpected around here. Of course there's a few entries which will remain as well as the wishblade file and a few other things.
]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/05/still-here.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/05/still-here.html Daily Musings Fri, 30 May 2008 21:43:45 -0600
I really, really hope there is room for a good surprise but I don't expect it. ]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/05/contract-weekend.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/05/contract-weekend.html Daily Musings hubby work Fri, 02 May 2008 08:31:39 -0600
Things that makes you go hmmm, but I'm enjoying it for all it's worth right now.

The weekend turned out to be excellent and quiet, which was something both of us needed :)
]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/wondering.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/wondering.html Daily Musings family Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:24:11 -0600 Hoping this weekend will be quiet and as normal as anything can be around here. Really need not having to worry and concentrate about outside issues. Hubby and I need time to just be and be us for a while. http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/hope.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/hope.html Daily Musings family Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:48:30 -0600
I know the potential for that to happen is still there, but somewhere I am also hopeful that not having it happen today is a turning point for me.

Another personal turning point has been music. Normally when I'm having a lot of stress going on (whether internal or external) I cannot stand to listen to much (if any) music at all. I tend to listen for the emotional impact of music and sometimes that hits quite deeply. When that happens I have to stop listening for a while to lessen the impact from music versus impact of internal or external stress. Just too much to handle at the same time.

As for the whole family mess, I am hopeful but guarded about the situation. Last week was fairly quiet and then the walls came crashing down over the weekend, so needless to say I'm a bit guarded about the developments since then.

I have been told that I am a strong person in all of this, but that is not what I have felt like for the last 3 weeks. I have had some really bad days where it felt like I was totally losing control of everything. Not a feeling I like at all. Specially not when looking at how hard all of this has been on hubby and trying to give him some stability to deal with his personal emotional fallout from all of this.

Breathing easier but still taking it one day at a time. ]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/one-day-at-a-time.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/one-day-at-a-time.html Daily Musings family Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:51:21 -0600
Got a lot of reassurances which has put my mind at ease (but still guarded) about a lot of issues in all this mess. Now we all needs to begin moving forward. ]]> http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/coming-home.html http://www.serialpurrs.org/2008/04/coming-home.html Daily Musings family Tue, 22 Apr 2008 09:16:07 -0600